24 Comments
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Walls Trimble's avatar

Came here through John and am so moved by your experience.

Sometimes I tell clients I want them to think about their memories like reading the book before seeing the movie (my photos). We all deserve to let our imaginations and memories create something first. Thank you for putting this into words!

Liza Gurtin's avatar

I love that metaphor!!

Bailee Bruce's avatar

I loved every part of this! Made it here from John sharing the link on Instagram and, as a photographer myself who recently got married, I relate to these feelings as a bride and also deeply appreciate this read as a photographer. Took many notes to come back to! Thank you for sharing these words and these photos with us 💌

Liza Gurtin's avatar

Thank you for reading! It makes me feel so much less alone to know people relate to my experience 🫶

Malia G May's avatar

this is everything to me.

Katie Redmond's avatar

I remember learning about some of these studies in psych 1 and still think they were some of the most meaningful things I learned at Stanford.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and photos - both are beautiful!

Liza Gurtin's avatar

it's crazy how often I reference psyc studies from psyc 1 and psyc 45 (leanring and memory!) glad the education did something for me 😂

Grey Kenna's avatar

Absolutely wonderful reflections, Liza ❤️ thank you so much for sharing

The Unveiled Journal's avatar

This was an absolute pleasure to read. Thank you for reminding all of us how virtuous patience can be 💕

Liza Gurtin's avatar

Thank you so much for taking the time to read — I’m so glad it resonated 🫶

Margo Lightburn's avatar

This was equal parts sooo smart and so moving 😭. I don’t know if it is my relationship to it but I was so moved by this. You are such a beautiful writer — smart and moving is the whole brand. 🥹❤️🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Liza Gurtin's avatar

thank you for being a part of the day and for reading my words. Love you!!

Melissa Khuat's avatar

this came at the right time for me, thank you so much for sharing 🥹

Liza Gurtin's avatar

I’m so glad to hear that 🫶 — thank you for reading

Hilary Block's avatar

Hi Liz,

Found you via John Dolan (fellow photographer). Thank you for sharing your inspiring sentiment, and scientific research too.

This is so often felt on both sides of the lens, but rarely shared or spoken about, I carry the same questions and struggles with this no matter the side of the lens I’m on, for every client, every photo, every story.

My hope is for more revelations, as this, that as a whole we will ease back and remain more present surrounding our milestones to digest and then share authentically when the time is right for us, and not when the algorithm and everyone else expects it. TY ❤️

The Edit by Sarah Bradshaw's avatar

Fellow photographer here. Thank you for sharing so eloquently. I feel this tension every. single. wedding. I deeply desire my couples to roll over the morning after their wedding to be present with each other, not to look at their phones to vicariously relive every moment. And how I wish I could give that gift to each of my couples!! I hate the position I’m in- I fully believe that my couples will be happier with their memories if they don’t see my photos the next day, and that my best work is not done at 3am after shooting for 12+ hours. But I have bills to pay, and both couples and planners ask for (expect?) previews. I feel so stuck between a rock and a hard place!

Olivia's avatar

Thank you for helping me understand psychologically WHY previews aren’t always best. I tend to hear “I don’t deliver previews because it’s not the full story.” But your input of studies was quite interesting. I want to harden my memories more often! Which is why I love the waiting period of getting film photos back :)

Laura Applestein's avatar

Beautifully written. Beautifully said. Embrace of the perfect imperfect will make us all better humans (john is an “old” friends.) The New York Times should run this in their modern love column. Congratulations on the marriage. I hope it’s as glorious as the wedding day itself.

Sarah Ferguson's avatar

As a wedding photographer this is such an insightful piece of writing every bride should read. And John is my hero.

Bravo

inafetse's avatar

This is such a beautiful reflection piece from the other side (photographer here). I've always been so curious about the emotional experience when receiving your photos and asking my clients about this felt invasive. I love the honesty here. Thank you for sharing your though process, it means so much 🤍

Olivia's avatar

Same here, I agree!

Vinamrata Singal's avatar

I loved this reflection and had a similar experience with my wedding (the part about the body image thing was real). Took me over a year to look, and another year to print them. Thank you for sharing!

Taylor Zapolsky's avatar

I’m so excited to see these photos! Being part of this weekend was so special and I can’t wait to re-live it ❤️ love you!!!

Liza Gurtin's avatar

Glad to finally share them!! Loved having you there to celebrate with 🫶